LGBTQ

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LGBTQ

Post by Skitty on Tue Jun 07, 2016 9:53 pm

This thread is for LGBTQ members of the Roleplaying community to come share their story, and get support from others. This will be a 'safe space' of some sorts, not as in the tumblr definition but as in I don't want any negativity or arguments here. This thread is for letting your story out to other RP users, and getting support and advice. Joking about anything or anyone will result in a BAN. There are plenty of places to do that, this thread isn't one of them.


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Well ok, this is a thing now

Post by Smol Trash Child on Tue Jun 07, 2016 10:07 pm

My first thread outside of introductions isn't a shitpost? Golly kiera what are you doing!?
Well i feel like this is a good thing to post anyway.
Hey, my name is Kieran, I've been in the roleplaying room for nearly a year now and I've been a MTF transgender for 5 years
So yeah                                                                a few things you need to know
Pronouns:She Her ect
Name:Kiera
Honestly, ever since i turned 11 i never felt right about my body like i didn't belong you know? I was closeted about it for 4+ years, before coming out to my sister a few months back.
I'm really not good at threads so i guess thats it.
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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Yujo on Wed Jun 08, 2016 2:01 am

While I'm sure I've told numerous others about this and have opened up about it on my first-ever post on the forums, I am transgender (bi-gender, he and/or she) and bisexual! Though this is more about me coming out as trans and all, not my sexuality.

My story began on late November 2012, when it was my older sister who came out to me about transitioning. She's male at birth, and now happily identifies as a girl. I was really surprised about it, but it ended up making me feel more comfortable around her, since she had always been a motherly figure to me than our actual mom who doesn't support either of us when it comes to being transgender... My sister defends me a lot when our mother makes jabs at either of us, and I wouldn't be typing here today if it weren't for her protecting me.

My sister, along with my girlfriend--who I've known since early 2012, and started dating on March 2013, gave me a lot of insight on what transitioning is like, and what signs point to one possibly being trans without me having realized it after so many years. Yeah, one can be very repulsed to being transgender due to prejudice made by family members, and the fear of being rejected by said family members if one were to come out. That was my case. I avoided and joked about transgender people for a very long time because of that mindset instilled into me.

A year of guilt, denial, and fear passes by slowly as I tried to figure myself out, and reevaluate my identity as a whole. It was stressful and caused me to cut contact with the many friends I used to have, since they did not agree with my decisions. And honestly, I really didn't need their acceptance in the first place if they were going to hate me for it.

At the beginning of March 2013, I came out as transgender (wanting to be viewed as a boy and a girl interchangeably, while hoping that I can get some surgery done and take medication to change aspects of my body in the future). I received a lot of backlash from it when I told this to my mother, and since then, she's despised me for it. Enough to want to kick me out when I turn 18 by August 2016.

It felt good to have come out after so long. Even though I'm still dealing with discrimination about it, I'm trying to stand proud and project who I really am.

It was hard to type this all out because I started remembering horrible things, like the few times I had attempted suicide due to rejection and other things relating to my coming out. Not many people understand the severity and struggle trans and gay people alike go through when they are trying hard to be accepted, while struggling to come to terms and accept themselves at the same time.  The suicide rate combined for trans and gay people stands at a very alarming 40% per year, with a life expectancy of 30 years or lower. It isn't declining, and really won't be for a while to come until people become more accepting of us. I thought I should throw that in there, so, yeah...

It's really horrifying think about.

Thanks for reading.

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Daisz on Wed Jun 08, 2016 2:16 am

I'm pansexual. When I was younger I didn't know about the nonbinary, and used to refer to myself as bisexual (as someone who dates two genders, from a literal view) but soon came to realize I didn't limit my sexuality to strictly male and female traditional genders, and I just really love everybody tbh, so I soon came to identify with pansexuality. I'm also okay with being in polyamorous relationships.
I never really came out to my family, they don't really take interests in my relationships anyway lol. Im not closeted though.
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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Day of the Dead on Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:54 am

surprised that i'm posting on this thread? yeah dont be pls

I am pansexual, aka the sexuality where you can get off to anything.

I wanna share a few stories with you.

First is my story with Renata that I reluctantly share because it's so important but also so horrifying.

So, back in February 2015, I knew the girl because she just randomly PMed me asking for a PM RP. I took up the offer and we became friends. Several months later in August, I couldn't help but see myself thinking about her all day, so I confessed my love to her three days after a huge argument we had. Sadly, she was a bitch to be with and I regret dating her. Styx helped me through this situation and helped me gain the courage to break up with her. Funny thing was, whenever we had an argument, she threatened to break up with me over them. Some of them left me damaged and some of them just left me fine, while others left me angry because it was so stupid. The fact that she came back the next day left me simply enraged.

She still bugs me to this day.

That's the reason Vincent/Renata was banned (plus her toxicity and over-possessiveness in chat to other users, including staff).

Now for a much lighter story but one I still hate: my English teacher.

I mean, he's probably the best you can get. Extremely witty, confident, taunting, supporting and all the qualities that a teacher should have... except for the fact that he's trans- and homophobic and that he doesn't believe I have ADHD (in which I actually do). My two out of four best friends who are trans actually both wrote him letters explaining their sexuality. On one of them, he underlined his birth name twice, showing disapproval of the decisions. Even though I'm pretty fine with my gender, I still support them immensely and will do whatever I can to have them receive the respect they desire. The best person in the world to me (other than Lufia <33), in my opinion and irl, is trans and has a shitty home life as well as an amazing person so I give him all the respect he needs, even if I do slip up sometimes.

ruhe;gheqr43ogfhreugh i literally just woke up help
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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Rico on Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:01 pm

So I'm going to say something that will sound somewhat old fashioned and while I don't want to upset anybody, I feel it's something that (as the oldest member of the community) I do need to pass on.

A lot of you are currently (or about to be) going through puberty, which lasts longer than the physical changes that accompany it. There's a whole bunch of hormones fucking with your head and to those people (folks who are under 16, although you could also be older) I say try not to even think about this sort of thing. Don't apply labels to yourself, don't go in to these relationships thinking "This is it, this is the one!".

Even those of you who are beyond the hormonal bullshit, it's still not over. The person you are when you leave high school and the person you are 10 years later will almost certainly be different people. We grow and so do those we love. Those similarities you had, your humour, your tastes in music... those will change. Sometimes you'll change together, sometimes not. You're going to hurt, and that's good because that's how we learn.


So basically what I'm trying to say, is don't worry yourself with your labels. Pansexual, bisexual, homosexual, heterosexual... whatever, just be a kid please. It's your only chance.



I'm going to close this post with just a word about 'pronouns', because that's been a big deal in recent years. People mis-identifying your gender, using the wrong pronouns... this is not a uniquely gender fluid problem. I've had to deal with it myself on multiple occasions, but please... if you expect somebody to respect your choice of pronouns at least use something that's part of the english language (or whatever language you speak). Most people are not going to feel comfortable using gender non-specific pronouns (particularly the made up ones like 'xe') because you're such a small minority that it's not "My gender is referred to this way" but instead "I am referred to this way". If we all had our own individual pronouns, they wouldn't be pronouns anymore... they'd just be nicknames. Nobody means you harm, for anybody who isn't looking for romance (the majority of people you meet) your gender doesn't even matter.

I wanted to address this for you all now just because when folks such as myself see phrases like "My pronouns are..." you're going to instantly form an opinion on that person, and it's usually not a good one. Not because you're gender fluid and don't conform to standard gender norms... but because you're making that the most important part of your personality.
It's like when you meet a gay guy whose entire personality is your stereotypical campy GURLFRIEND! There is so much more to your personality than your sexuality



Alright, that's all the worldly advice I wanted to give, with one last bit. If you're finding your friend and family don't support you for who you are now, just grit your teeth... bear with it. The part of your life where they are going to be important is so small... eventually you will be able to set out on your own and forge your own bonds. Take it as good practice for working under a shitty boss, because you WILL do that at some point in your life.
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Re: LGBTQ

Post by MightyenaBoy on Thu Jun 09, 2016 6:17 pm

Hello! I suppose it's not surprising I'd post on this thread eventually, since a majority of my friends/the room in general know I'm homosexual.

My story isn't that much different from the 'norm' of other gay men who went through life in the closet/only telling close friends. Throughout most of my younger life I never really was interested in who I liked, it didn't really feel important at the time. Of course that all changed soon enough, around the time I was thirteen or so I figured out I didn't really like women.

I was more interested in the guys, rather than the gals, get what I'm saying? I thought it was just some normal thing, especially since a large majority of my friends at the time said they were bisexual, I figured it was just some phase. Since you go through a lot of phases as a teenager, admit it. But then a few years later I realized, I still was attracted to guys.

That's when I decided to tell my mother, and she simply shrugged it off and did the whole 'I love you for who you are' speech like most do. Unfortunately it wasn't that easy for the people who at the time I assumed were my 'friends'. After I had told them they spread the entire thing throughout the school, anytime I tried to talk to someone they'd giggle and move away, laugh, snort and shake their head etc.

Life got way worse than I thought it'd ever be, hell it got to the point where I was 'banished' from the locker room from the other boys, even if I complained to the gym teacher at the time. It got so severe that I had to get homeschooled for the remainder of my school life. But homeschooling isn't exactly the best thing to do to a reclusive gay teen who doesn't really know what they're doing. My depression got worse and it got to the point where I was contemplating suicide for a while. I had the whole thing planned out, but then I said to myself:

"Maybe just one more year..."

And I waited, and now here I am in a new high school as a senior, and I couldn't love it more. I've made some friends and honestly it was never as bad as I thought it would be. I'm going to the University of Toronto soon and I'm happy about myself for once.

Let the stories here inspire you to be yourself and not what other people expect you to be. You'll never know what life has around the corner waiting for you.

And a quick note, I want to thank everyone in the Roleplaying Room for helping me along with my depression. You've made me laugh countless times and forget my troubles Smile

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Articuno on Thu Jun 09, 2016 9:17 pm

People may not know this, but I have a sister. She is one year older than me and as we were growing up, she was both the person I wanted to be and the one who didn't want me to be anything like her. But that's not really important. 

When she was maybe 17 or so she divulged to me that she was bi-curious. I didn't really know what it meant at all, having not put much thought into sexuality at the time (I just assumed I was straight). After her explanation that it meant you were willing to try both female and male partners, I decided that maybe I was probably bi-curious as well, since I didn't feel averse to females. 

What I didn't think much of was the fact she'd decided to entrust her sexuality to me before anyone else (at least, I think). It never seemed like a huge deal who you decided to love so although my sister didn't have to cope with discrimination from our family, she did choose to keep it hidden until she was about to leave for college. By then she came out as lesbian, and my mom and dad were both very accepting. Note that we're Taiwanese and we live in Texas. 

Anyhow, the only person that she loves and hasn't been able to tell is our grandma. Our grandmother likes my sister quite a lot more than me (lol it's true) but she is also a Baptist... but thankfully, she lives in Taiwan and they just tell her that my sister isn't interested in getting a boyfriend and wants to focus on her studies first. 

The one thing that I highly dislike about the gender-fluid community is making up genders for absolutely no reason. I think it's perfectly fine to feel uncomfortable with your sexuality, but I will not call someone 1. a made-up pronoun, or 2. male or female depending on what phase of the moon it is. I do not understand people who magically change gender based on random circumstances, and as far as I know no one here is actually like that and it's just a very rare case with some people. If there is someone here whose gender fluctuates a lot, then please know that I don't mean offense, I just honestly cannot wrap my head around it. 

Lastly, I am almost solidly a cis shit scum straight. I say that because I've only been with men in my life and I enjoyed it, though I can still say I'm not totally averse to women. You'll find that I joke about feminism and the patriarchy and people who are deluded about things like mayonnaise being a gender, but at the end of the day I do respect people's choices about sexuality and gender and if anyone ever bullies anyone because of it I will not hesitate to take action.

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Hydre(Hydreigon) on Thu Jun 09, 2016 9:59 pm


Alright, so as some here know, I'm bi-sexual, and while I don't understand half of what the LGBTQ names are, I think I can associate myself with at LEAST part of it.

I quite never talked about it except to some very close friends, along with things inappropriate for the forums, be them girls or boys. I only reached out to them since a few years, when I quite realised my sexuality after having feelings for a friend of mine, but never revealing them, as being gay was really, really shunned upon, and still is, in my family, except for my grandparents and father.

An, at this day, it still is. I had numerous 'private' relations with friends, but I never had the courage to announce them to my family, some being from the nationalist/christian extreme, some just not understanding why a guy can be both attracted in a guy and a girl. And while I currently, somewhat, have a long-distance relationship with a girl from the same University I was in, I know that some guys are attractive to me.


Last edited by Hydre(Hydreigon) on Thu Jun 09, 2016 10:00 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : formatting fuckd up)

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Yujo on Thu Jun 09, 2016 10:24 pm

I'd like to get a few things across here:

Gender =/= sexuality. I cannot believe I have to state this...
Gender + pronouns do not connect to sexuality. Sexual attractions are completely different from gender identities. Do keep that in mind!

Moving on...

Gender-fluidity is fluctuating between masculinity and femininity while not relying on a middle ground. You're free to be masculine and feminine if one is comfortable with it. You may not know one's story or reasoning behind it; whether it be trauma-induced, how one was raised, etc. The reason why one fluctuates between one or the other is due to a case of crippling insecurity and second-guessing.

The reason why I happen to identify as gender-fluid/bi-gender/gender queer is because of the previously stated. I'm incredibly insecure about my identity as a whole and how others perceive me in general (in real life, that. I don't give a crap as to what someone thinks I am online or what they try to define me as, since I don't soak in that negativity). If someone sees me as too much of this, I'll want to be the opposite out of impulse, because it makes me feel as though I'm faking it. I.e: if someone sees me as too feminine, I'll want to be masculine. Rinse and repeat.

A bigger reason why I fluctuate between masculinity and femininity is due to childhood trauma I've endured. I'll put this under a spoiler because it's sensitive and rather touchy to mention.
Rape/abuse mention:
You see, during my preteen years, everyone viewed me as a 'tomboy'. The reason why is because I heavily wanted to disassociate from being feminine. My father had violated me inappropriately, causing me to think I was an object and a sickening one at that, which is why I hated viewing myself as a girl or in any way feminine for a long time after the event had happened--which was when I was around 10 years old.

And with the above, I close up the reason why gender-fluidity is a legitimate thing. I'm not sure what definition you have for gender-fluidity, but I'm sure you have it warped or something, Arti.

I don't happen to agree with made-up genders and/or pronouns however, aside from demi-girl and demi-boy since they're extensions of the non-binary gender which I respect a lot, and xe/xer/xem pronouns (which have been used for a while, and people are only nitpicking at it for the past two years because trans visibility being on the rise). If people are really going to claw at non-binary others for using they/them, why don't they offer an alternative? Even though singular they/them is grammatically correct. And no, it/its is degrading, so people shouldn't test their luck on that.

Gender-fluid/bi-gender people using they/them pronouns is also legitimate, since yanno, two genders = plural. Haha. Ha...

That'll be it from me, for now!

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Yujo on Thu Jun 09, 2016 10:27 pm

Also, Rico--I agree wholeheartedly to that! It's better to not explore at an age where you're very impressionable (preteens especially), so while it's nice to learn more about the LGBTQ community, don't resort to the labels and whatnot unless you're ready for it and once you're older, as well.

To be honest, I feel comfortable with labels, but that varies to many others.

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Articuno on Fri Jun 10, 2016 5:46 am

I didn't intend to sound belittling about gender-fluid people, and I'm sorry if I came across that way. However, I do believe that while there are people legitimately uncomfortable with their bodies and their gender, there are also people who are deluded and ridiculous with their claims (see a few examples here; Glimragender: a faintly shining, wavering gender <I'm sorry but this just makes zero sense.>). That is why I chose outlandish examples in my post, because it's just not believable to me that someone would actually have fluctuating gender based on the phase of the moon. It's similar to why I cannot take otherkin seriously. 

I think there is a thin line between being gender-fluid due to being uncomfortable with who you are at the moment and being gender-fluid because it's a rising trend and young people are susceptible to confirmation bias, especially since (as Rico pointed out) hormone levels are fluctuating, everything is changing, and it can be a harrowing period. I do not think that every gender-fluid person is attention-seeking or ridiculous. But I do think that some are simply doing it for the sake of doing it. 

I realize these people are the small but outspoken portion of the nonbinary community, just like crazy feminists who want all men to be placed on an island and bombed. I'm not trying to stereotype any gender-fluid people, but I want to make a point that I do not believe there are more than two genders, so while I think it's totally acceptable to be uncomfortable with yourself and your gender, I will not call someone a made-up pronoun for a gender I do not believe exists. 

Note that I don't mean I won't call a female-to-male trans person 'he'. They have identified themselves as male and so I will use the proper pronouns. But it's different when someone is like "No, sorry, my gender doesn't exist so you have to call me xe" (I don't actually know what the term is). I will respect the fact that they believe they have no gender, but in turn I hope they will respect my belief that they are male or female and therefore not begrudge the fact that I will call them by a he or she pronoun.

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Skitty on Fri Jun 10, 2016 10:51 pm

I think the above sharing of points was very civil and polite on both ends, but let's end the topic here. Everyone who has posted so far has extremely well intentions, but this is sort of exactly what I didn't want to happen. The discussion above was very healthy, and is good to have anywhere else, but I want this thread to be a place where people don't need to defend their choices or how they feel about their gender; they already have to do that everywhere else. So moving on from this, let's focus on sharing our stories and/or coming out and supporting one another for the rest of this topic's life. I do want to add that I'm really glad how politely and civilly everyone has acted so far though.


Note: I get my above post sounded a bit tumblr-y, and I also do agree with a lot of the things shared here (ie, otherkin is sorta ridiculous), but remember that as the OP stated that this was meant to be a sort of "safe space" where people don't have to defend their views or share more than they're comfortable with. This will probably be the only safe space I'm ever involved with in my life since it's a very silly idea most of the time, but let's keep it that way.

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Enchidio on Sat Jun 11, 2016 10:16 pm

Alright. I'm here, I guess. My story isn't anything major, though.
When I was 16, I felt uncomfortable with my body, I mean, my voice was deep, my masculine appearance looked so awful, I felt uncomfortable with being called a "man" or "boy"... I didn't like being called a boy and I didn't like my body, either.

I decided that I'd refer to myself as a girl, though I was afraid to tell people until now. I haven't really complained about being a boy in public, though, because I thought people wouldn't like me. However, I saw several friends on Skype and you guys saying that they're trans, and no one getting bashed (and I totally respected their decision), so I decided, "I should've been a girl". I may never get to actually change (medication and surgery is not something I want to do), but I have been doing exercises to make my voice lighter.

I prefer to be called Lana (though I'm still Enchi here lol), and I have she/her pronouns.


Last edited by Enchidio on Sat Jun 11, 2016 10:18 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : i forgot a few things to add)

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Re: LGBTQ

Post by Xenephiliuss on Sat Jun 18, 2016 12:25 am

When I was younger I never thought much about the idea of being attracted to others, and I'm guessing that's normal when you're like 5-11. It wasn't until middle school when I really started feeling. My emotions were going haywire and I found myself going off and on, attracted to boys, girls, etc. I was horribly insecure and a mess, thinking I could hide my feelings forever because it wasn't normal.

Now in high school, I'm gonna be a junior very soon and I've learned so much from my past. I've discarded my ridiculous idea to hide my feelings and settled on using the term bisexual and it just fit so well to describe my feelings even if I dislike labels. I'm in the process of coming out and a few of my friends are aware that I have grown comfortable with my sexuality. Yet I can't fully accept it for some reason. Maybe it's the fact that I'm afraid of falling in love with a another man and having to explain to my entire possibly homophobic, "macho-based" Mexican family that bisexuality is a thing, as if they've even heard of it.

All of this makes me apprehensive toward my future. I'm currently working for a relationship with an amazing person who happens to be male. I'm in love with him and sneaking around isn't exactly an option. He isn't the first guy/girl I fell in love with but I'm so exhausted from being rejected simply because either the other person didn't come to terms with their sexuality and it couldn't work or because I didn't do enough for them. The constant pain from being denied of love that was so close, barely in my grasp, but just slipped away has chipped at my self-esteem and lead to other emotional problems. It doesn't help that I constantly remind myself not to worry about love at the age of 16, but it goes against the fact that I believe love should be taken at the first opportunity and waiting should never be a habit.

I'm still trying to accept myself and trying to understand my sexuality. I may be confused or whatever, but there is no way I'm mistaken when I said I was in love. Whether it's a boy or a girl, doesn't matter. Love is love. Hopefully I can understand it better when I have that special someone. That's always been the key.

But for the rest of you reading this, you should know: homosexual relationships may be tedious, but the greatest advantage is that it can challenge you and force you to love fiercely and cherish every small moment that may not happen often. In a way, it's a gift. That piece of information always reassures me that no matter who I love, it won't be mediocre. Don't settle for anything less than extraordinary in a serious relationship and assert your true feelings when the opportunity presents itself.

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Re: LGBTQ

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