Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Mobutt on Wed Oct 05, 2016 1:36 pm

A doc version is coming soon!
Name: Error Von Diez

Thanks to the wonderful artist that drew that! http://www.zerochan.net/user/LeftAndRight Check him out!

Appearance:

Idea: Pokefusion, slowly descending into madness, determination (NOTE: NO UT REF.)

Current Situation: Living temporarily with Adeline, the first human contact that he had ever had so far. In love(?)

Theme: https://soundcloud.com/marz-mitzi/i-just-cant-understand-undertales-your-best-nightmare-remix This was chosen for mostly the motor sounds at the beginning. It's quite fitting to the mysterious and genius mind that belongs to Error. Also, the middle parts past the Rock theme are really fitting for me, and the rock music...that is just to show the horrors of his experiment.

Owner: Error Mobutt, no one else shall copy this idea! And his alts(rarely seen) are: Mobutt(Zoroark) and CaptainButt.
PERSONALITY

1.Sarcastic-Error is especially prone to being a smartass and pointing things out as one. He's believes himself to be the smartest person-no, teenager-that ever was, and will go to many methods to emphasize that. He has no shame in infuriating people just for the fun of it and has no qualms about ruining other people's lives just to prove he is above them-to prove he is superior to you all.

2.Mad? He doesn't seem like it, but he may have lost his mind at some point. After the supposed 'mental snap', he started not caring about the lives of others-at least not easily. Error kidnapped Pokémon just to see his experiments through, and doesn't hesitate to kill them, torture them, or blindly let them fend for themselves. However, contrary to many, he is not 'mad' in the sense that he's an axe murderer. Well, no, he IS mad, yet not insane. He's mad, but not mad.

3.Kind-After all that's been said, kind seems like an odd choice. But maybe he's absolutely cruel to nearly all creatures, he seems to become noticeably more friendly when with his own race-humans. It could be that he never had human interaction until now. Or maybe it's the side effect with been one so kind and caring? Yes, humans in specification are an exception. He is NOT kind to humans most of the time.

4. Determined-DO you know how long Error has worked to achieve his goal in completing, I mean, perfecting the idea of fusing Pokémon's DNA? ((Similar to Kyu-B/W, or something that isn't banned)) is whole life since childhood. No matter what, the first thought is finishing the task. He even didn't mind trying to fuse his Best friend's Mawile because 'it's a perfect test subject!' for temporary fusion. He stops at nothing to achieve his goal.

5. Smart: smh excuse me self smart isn't a personality trait so no ignore this.

History of Error, the mad scientist.
Haven't gotten that far yet.... so, [placeholder biograpy].

Relationships/Acquaintances/Friends!

Adeline:
Appearance: http://24.media.tumblr.com/b7df4695d5fc9cfd8a64b79da316425a/tumblr_mywuotjFYS1qlpahho1_400.jpg (Hers)

Owner: Adeline(icon placeholder)Ace

Relationship Status: Adeline is Error's one and only human friend. At least the first, anyways. They met while Error was in deep pain, apparently trying to capture some Golem never is a good idea. At the mercy at those who he made lives miserable for so long, he was saved by a Mega Mawile and her Trainer, Adeline. She figured out his intentions-in the meantime naming him 'Cocky'-and decided to help, not knowing his murderous experiments. She found out and lived with it ('It's not like they're killed or anything!') until her Mawile, Merce, was involved. Adeline threatened to run away and Error, desperate to keep his one friend, gave in under sheer pressure. She is now very good friends with Error.


Last edited by Mobutt on Thu Oct 06, 2016 2:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Mobutt

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 52
Join date : 2016-08-19

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Fraction on Wed Oct 05, 2016 3:04 pm

Missing: crediting the artist who drew that picture. Most artists do work for $$$, and it shouldn't be shared without their explicit permission. The least you could do is credit them.

How is 'madness and secluding yourself' an idea, exactly? Is it some kind of philosophy he holds that everyone should seclude themselves and go mad?

Moving on to the personality:

'He's believes himself to be the smartest person-no, teenager' typoed the 'He' there. Also, that sentence structure is weird, by using 'teenager' after 'person' you're just undermining his ego. I suppose you meant it to be the other way around?

'After the supposed 'mental snap', he started not caring about the lives of others-at least not easily.' Later you mention that ' Error can be kind to people and people alone.' so are people an exception to the formerly mentioned trait?

Also; 'He has no shame in infuriating people just for the fun of it and has no qualms about ruining other people's lives' contradicts with the point above, unless of course you mean that he's not kind majority of the time. But then again, evidence in the third trait says otherwise: 'maybe he's absolutely cruel to nearly all creatures, he seems to become noticeably more friendly when with his own race-humans.' Your own points seem to contradict themselves.

'Error kidnapped Pokémon just to see his experiments through, and doesn't hesitate to kill them, torture them, or blindlessly let them fend for themselves.'
'However, contrary to many, he is not 'mad' in the sense that he's an axe murderer.'
One does not specifically have to wield axes to be considered mad. Killing innocent animals in such a sadistic way is maniacal enough, I don't know why this wouldn't be considered 'mad'.
I'm also presuming you meant to write 'blindly'.

'After all that's been said, kind seems like an odd choice.' Yes, yes it is. Considering how you mentioned his behavior towards Pokemon being, and that he's no saint towards humans either (implied from the facts that your points about him being kind to humans contradicted themselves), I really do wonder what makes him nice. Maybe perhaps he's 'not bad inside'? But that doesn't seem to be logical either, I don't know any 'kind' person who'd torture poor souls just for their own amusement.
'Albeit his sarcasm, Error can be kind' now here's the thing. Sarcasm is something that isn't accompanied by kindness, since it's mostly an unneeded and rude thing. Sure, sarcastic comments are made for the purpose of humor too, but; 'Error is especially prone to being a smartass and pointing things out as one.' says otherwise, naturally getting people to deduce that he's more or less a prick and an ass.

'Determined', I'm guessing you just added this as a ref to UT. Hats off to you for this one.

I actually would like some answer to how smart he is. Presuming he was a child prodigy ('perfecting the idea of fusing Pokémon's DNA is whole life since childhood.'), why isn't there any sort of clue as to what happened to his education. Moreover, some more info on how he was raised would be nice too.

And yeah, I'm done, for now.
avatar
Fraction
Voice
Voice

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 656
Join date : 2015-08-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Mobutt on Thu Oct 06, 2016 1:36 pm

1. Mad in the sense of losing all sanity, not in the sense of being sadistic, though yes, you could say he's mad.

2.History upcoming.

3. The word 'can' is a bastardly word and good at it's job. It suggests 'Not always', though thank you for pointing it out.

4. Saying he has a soft spot outright really irritates me, like it's too generic for words.

5. His psychology is a broken one, but I guess sarcasm isn't considered being kind. And yes, kind thing-see no.2

6. Exceptions, yes. I shall get to that.

7. A lot off stuff contradicts the other because...broken psychology. Except too generic again, so I guess I'll change it.

8. To being kind, influence from Adeline seems appropriate.

Thank you for not being an ass-kisser (although I didn't see any of the opposite or downgraded) so I shall take your advice with no salt. Currently: Trying to make history and fix bolded problems. (Done for now?)
avatar
Mobutt

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 52
Join date : 2016-08-19

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Fraction on Fri Oct 07, 2016 7:52 am

Um, I have no reason to kiss someone's ass or be salty anyway? But alright lol. If you're gonna post here you should expect feedback / criticism, both positive and negative. Anyway, I'm waiting for the backstory and how it impacts this character.
avatar
Fraction
Voice
Voice

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 656
Join date : 2015-08-22

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Mobutt on Fri Oct 07, 2016 12:38 pm

Hnnng I'm a bit tolazy to write history quickly but I'll try anyways hnnng...
avatar
Mobutt

Status :
Online
Offline

Posts : 52
Join date : 2016-08-19

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Err0r deeetected! Commencing $hUTDown...Error-the mad scientist! ((WIP))

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum