Tenebris the Spiritomb

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Tenebris the Spiritomb

Post by Tenebris (Spiritomb) on Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:21 pm

Name: Tenebris
Gender: Male
Age: 22
Species: Spiritomb
Personality:

Calm natured: He is very difficult to anger.

Friendly: Despite the fact that most pokemon are terrified of him because they think he will "steal their souls" or something, he hardly ever attacks other pokemon.

Rash: He has made rash decisions in the past, most of them ending sourly.

Depressed: He is a bit depressed because he has never known his family, or if he even has one. He tries not to think of this much.

Sore-Loser: He can get a bit too upset when he loses a battle, but he is trying to remedy this.

Likes: His friends, water, fellow ghost and dark-type pokemon, battling
Dislikes: Bullies, know-it-alls, being alone, cheaters, when others assume he is evil

Moves:
Hypnosis
Psychic
Shadow ball
Dark pulse










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Re: Tenebris the Spiritomb

Post by switchkitty on Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:11 pm

Well, not sure if you want criticism, since this is my first time giving constructive criticism. I feel like the personality portion is way too small, and falls into the same kinds of issues I see a lot of new characters go into. Why not elaborate upon how he acts? Give more examples, go into pain-staking detail!

His likes are a bit arbitrary, and we can find out from the personality portion he likes to battle. Of course he'd like his friends, can we get some really weird likes, such as enjoying skipping stones across lakes? His dislikes are also a bit arbitrary. Of course he wouldn't like a bully, or a know-it-all. Perhaps we could get an elaboration, or things that are uncommon that he doesn't like? Hell, even being alone / cheaters is something no one would like.

Overall, I think this is a good character with a ton of room for improvement. I believe that the bio you have is much too short for him, personally, as I like to use a biography to map how a character would react and all of that. I'd love to send you a questionnaire for your OC to help cement the quirks that he might have.

Also, depression isn't a personality trait. It's a bloody mental illness.
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Re: Tenebris the Spiritomb

Post by Tenebris (Spiritomb) on Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:20 pm

Thanks for the constructive criticism, I appreciate it. I'll elaborate more right now, and I would appreciate a questionnaire. Thanks again!

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Re: Tenebris the Spiritomb

Post by switchkitty on Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:55 pm

This goes to a pastebin with it all.
This actually took me a long time to gather, but charahub is really helpful with things like that.
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