Off of Off-Topic: Reality and Return

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Off of Off-Topic: Reality and Return

Post by Allyson(Ninetales) on Sun Jul 23, 2017 6:45 am

So what the heck happened to that Scattered Disk guy for the past few months/year? Here I am today to tell you my own tale. I promise to keep it short don't worry.
Please be noted to just go to the bottom of the post if you're not reading the story, because I myself wouldn't want to read it either as I poured my everything on it and it's kinda embarrassing.

2016 of March. Students in our Junior High School would be happy, parents would be proud, and teachers would be happy to say goodbye to those unlawful and disrespectful smart-asses. To which clique of the seemingly never-ending High School society did I belong? The answer is none, after panicking trying to please everyone and everything I found myself on a standstill. Labeled as weird, geek, leech and gay, I had so much troubles back then which included multiple attempts of suicide, disrespect to my parents and teachers, immature and premature, cutting classes, always going to school late,  escaping whenever I wanted, and still thinking I was right even when I was wrong. All that's left was for me to indulge to drugs and alcohol, which fortunately is a world I didn't forge into. During these times I also added Showdown! and playing League of Legends to my daily dose of wasting myself since the community is much more welcoming than the real world. I really had tons of encouragement in this times from my friends in the room, namely Darkness, MB, Fraction and many more.
It's supposed to be my Graduation Day, yet I feel like everyone looks down upon me thinking that I don't deserve graduating even as the one in the bottom of the class ranking. What's worse than the unjustified looks on me was my mother's pained smile, how she's paranoid that I'm being compared to my older brother and sister and she's being shamed in the process.
We got home, as usual I got my own special treatment of swears, curses, blames and many more extra services. I didn't answer these days, knowing she wouldn't listen, knowing that it's futile, and knowing that I was wrong; partially. What is there to celebrate? I didn't even graduate with an award, much less surpass my older brother and sister. Most people who saw this scene would be there to comfort me, for me those who saw it was only my bed and pillows who didn't scorn me for being a loser. I swore to myself that night with my eyes bleary and puffy, I'd go to college far away from my hell.
2016 of June. This was also the time of my long inactivity in Showdown! which is depressing since you guys had time for me back when I got depressed badly while I barely have time now to go into chat or at least RP once in a while. I owe it to the community, big time. I start as a Grade 11 student, I made sure to know where all my classmates last year went ensuring that no one knows me in my new school, to make sure I get a fresh start. I got in a small school and entered in the curriculum that specialized in Math and Science called: "Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics" in short 'STEM' or 'Death by rope', we prefer to call it the second one. This time around I really got serious, committing myself to my studies in hopes to get the best grades in the school and preferably please my mother. I just realized back then how fun school was, even if you're actually going a bit crazy with the academics, learning something new everyday was something I actually looked forward to.  So I became normal and stereotypical as a student, I didn't mind since I know that I worked hard and deserved it as I was recognized with honors in the end of the year. She was pleased with my performance last year, but she's disappointed that I couldn't take the top spot.

As of now I am in 12th Grade and I got the handle of balancing academics, fun, and responsibility. I still intend to go to university for college studying Food Technology, so wish me luck and wisdom in my exams.
Though today is an exception because I really spent a lot of time in pouring my heart out in this post. Also I am mostly capable of going online consistently now since I got my own laptop (though my internet service provider is still as bad as it was back then).
tl;dr: I finally return to Showdown! after many months of sadness, but now I am filled with hope more than ever and I intend to fulfill my hopes and dreams.
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