Lyn The Wanderer / Maiden (?)

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Lyn The Wanderer / Maiden (?)

Post by Lyn_Greyscale on Fri Aug 04, 2017 9:03 am

Hello Everybody- This is my first OC so please be mindful!  Very Happy  

Lyn

My OC: Overview

Lyn is a wanderer which is available to serve any Lord. She has very useful Pokemon such as Liligant and Sawsbuck; Which can be used to water the Gardens and transport items to the Treasure hold. She is mainly used as a support role in the kingdom, and works hard to for fill her Lords asking.

Traits / Nature:

Lyn is usually quiet and obidient.

When in a battle, she changes. She becomes more pumped up and sly.

She cherishes her Pokémon, and spoils them.


Appearance:

Lyn has Black hair tied into a black ribbon.

Her eye colour is emerald.

She is tall. (At about 6 foot 2 inches)


Team:


Liligant

Chespin

Roserade

Sawsbuck

Sunflora

Whimsicott


Bio:


Lyn lives a simple life, she is independent (In terms in which she is single and has no relavent family) and is just your simple wanderer, ready to help.

She is 27 years of age.


And that concludes it really- I'm not to sure what else to put in the Bio and general facts.

Anyways, thank you- And please tell me if this OC is valid!  Very Happy

-Lyn_Greyscale

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Re: Lyn The Wanderer / Maiden (?)

Post by Fervis on Fri Aug 04, 2017 7:55 pm

Hello Lyn, not a bad start for a first OC! I have a bit of tips for you, and I hope it helps.

1. Appearance wise, what does she usually wear? Would it be something more practical that serves her role as a wanderer, or something more flashy? Or both?

2. Do her pokemon have personalities too? You did mention that she spoils her pokemon, so I believe there most likely be 'side effects' to the spoiling. Maybe you could think about that.

3. I think Lyn's bio has a lot of potential to be elaborated on. Why does she have no relevant family? Did she run away, or did she lose them in a tragic accident? Why did she choose to be a wanderer? I guess that this OC is mainly used for Conquest, but there has to be a reason for her to be a wanderer over a lord or knight. If she is used in Freeroam, why, as a human, would she wander? Maybe you could reveal a part of her backstory that prompted her to become a wanderer.

4. Why is Lyn usually quiet and obedient? Was she raised that way, or did she become quiet and obedient after a significant incident? What prompts her to change her attitude during a battle? Is it her desire to win? The use of the word 'sly' suggests thats she becomes sneaky (note the negative connotation) during a battle. Why would she resort to being sneaky? Or is it simply being strategic?

That's it, I suppose. Hope this helps to improve your OC. At this moment, I feel that your OC is most suitable for use in Conquest, but more of her personality has to be elaborated on if she were to be used in other rps like cruise or freeroam.
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