Ari Rants About New OC

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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:15 pm

*is dumbfounded* Huh. Never thought how perfect that would be, until now. And rereading the bio I wrote and typed twice. XD And maybe the name of one of her Pokemon?
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by AxeBane on Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:21 pm

Ari (S.Ninetales) wrote:*is dumbfounded* Huh. Never thought how perfect that would be, until now. And rereading the bio I wrote and typed twice. XD And maybe the name of one of her Pokemon?

Hm... That'd be a bit to inconvenient to work in, without the character seeming utterly obsessed with their Pokemon. Maybe try another aspect of themselves, or their lives. Hell, try going through their backstory and see if any words or key objects in there jump out at you!
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:23 pm

I'll do that, but now, I have to go. We could continue this in PMs, maybe.
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by AxeBane on Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:24 pm

Ari (S.Ninetales) wrote:I'll do that, but now, I have to go. We could continue this in PMs, maybe.

Sure thing! Or Skype, if you're still interested, but meh. PMs work too. See ya later, buddy!
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by AxeBane on Sat Nov 29, 2014 9:58 pm

Also: Yey. We created the first ever multi-page topic on this section of the forums!
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Messy~Bug on Sun Nov 30, 2014 2:24 pm

OC looks great. (And fun to annoy Twisted Evil)
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Divine Aerial-Noivern on Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:39 pm

IS THE CAT AN OC?!
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:45 pm

Divine Aerial-Noivern wrote:IS THE CAT AN OC?!
My signature.....?




WHO TOLD YOU?!? :O
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Sun Nov 30, 2014 4:46 pm

Messy~Bug wrote:OC looks great. (And fun to annoy Twisted Evil)

....... *holds taco out of your reach*
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Dracon The Pop-tart God on Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:26 am

Ari, we both know that I'm gonna bug this OC if it does appear.
Mostly because I find it fun to annoy you in general. Laughing
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Mon Dec 01, 2014 6:51 pm

Shit, now you'll know where I am when I go hide in this OC.
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Morfent on Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:29 pm

She sounds a lot like a Mary Sue to me. Why does she have the cat-like features? Is the heterochromia a part of her character or just a feature to stand out? Odd features should play a part in the character's backstory or her personality rather than just being there to make her seem unique. How does the heterochromia influence her actions, besides being something to cry about? How did she end up cat-like? Without any reasoning, it just comes off as a way to make the character special or more original for no reaosn. In fact, a plain character with maybe one small change in one of its features makes it stand out so much more than the countless OCs that try to be as original as possible, yet in doing so only become less so since everyone is all trying their hardest to look original, but end up being unoriginal in doing what everyone else is doing. "That one with the tuft in her tail and spotted fur," is much easier to remember than "that half-cat with heterochromia," when there are already dozens of other people trying to be original that have probably come up with the same kind of design.

About the backstory, the red-headed boy is clearly Silver or maybr a clone/relative/whatever. What was he doing around Vexuin in the first place? There needs to be a little more context into how she runs into him. Apart from that, I think the backstory's a bit too melodromatic. You could maybe find a way to integrate her hobbies into the backstory so it doesn't come off so languishing. There should be some ups to balance the heavy downs to make it more realistic. For example, with the life she had lived up to the point where she finds the Magikarp, what part of her would decide to help it? After being abandoned so much, I'd imagine ignoring it to be more in character to just ignore it because she'd be cynical and selfish from having no long-living companionship. Maybe adding more to the characters of the Espeon and Umbreon to be more caring to each other would help fix this issue. That way, she could see that not everyone abandons others, so she'd have the compassion to save the Magikarp.
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Ari (S.Ninetales) on Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:41 am

Morfent wrote:She sounds a lot like a Mary Sue to me. Why does she have the cat-like features? Is the heterochromia a part of her character or just a feature to stand out? Odd features should play a part in the character's backstory or her personality rather than just being there to make her seem unique. How does the heterochromia influence her actions, besides being something to cry about? How did she end up cat-like? Without any reasoning, it just comes off as a way to make the character special or more original for no reaosn. In fact, a plain character with maybe one small change in one of its features makes it stand out so much more than the countless OCs that try to be as original as possible, yet in doing so only become less so since everyone is all trying their hardest to look original, but end up being unoriginal in doing what everyone else is doing. "That one with the tuft in her tail and spotted fur," is much easier to remember than "that half-cat with heterochromia," when there are already dozens of other people trying to be original that have probably come up with the same kind of design.

About the backstory, the red-headed boy is clearly Silver or maybr a clone/relative/whatever. What was he doing around Vexuin in the first place? There needs to be a little more context into how she runs into him. Apart from that, I think the backstory's a bit too melodromatic. You could maybe find a way to integrate her hobbies into the backstory so it doesn't come off so languishing. There should be some ups to balance the heavy downs to make it more realistic. For example, with the life she had lived up to the point where she finds the Magikarp, what part of her would decide to help it? After being abandoned so much, I'd imagine ignoring it to be more in character to just ignore it because she'd be cynical and selfish from having no long-living companionship. Maybe adding more to the characters of the Espeon and Umbreon to be more caring to each other would help fix this issue. That way, she could see that not everyone abandons others, so she'd have the compassion to save the Magikarp.

Thanks for your suggestion, though it sort of crushed my hopes and dreams for this OC. This is only a well, rough draft. I'm not completely done with it, and the things you mentioned we're something I knew. I'm going to edit the Bio, and add a bit more detail, to everything.
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by AxeBane on Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:45 am

Ari (S.Ninetales) wrote:
Morfent wrote:She sounds a lot like a Mary Sue to me. Why does she have the cat-like features? Is the heterochromia a part of her character or just a feature to stand out? Odd features should play a part in the character's backstory or her personality rather than just being there to make her seem unique. How does the heterochromia influence her actions, besides being something to cry about? How did she end up cat-like? Without any reasoning, it just comes off as a way to make the character special or more original for no reaosn. In fact, a plain character with maybe one small change in one of its features makes it stand out so much more than the countless OCs that try to be as original as possible, yet in doing so only become less so since everyone is all trying their hardest to look original, but end up being unoriginal in doing what everyone else is doing. "That one with the tuft in her tail and spotted fur," is much easier to remember than "that half-cat with heterochromia," when there are already dozens of other people trying to be original that have probably come up with the same kind of design.

About the backstory, the red-headed boy is clearly Silver or maybr a clone/relative/whatever. What was he doing around Vexuin in the first place? There needs to be a little more context into how she runs into him. Apart from that, I think the backstory's a bit too melodromatic. You could maybe find a way to integrate her hobbies into the backstory so it doesn't come off so languishing. There should be some ups to balance the heavy downs to make it more realistic. For example, with the life she had lived up to the point where she finds the Magikarp, what part of her would decide to help it? After being abandoned so much, I'd imagine ignoring it to be more in character to just ignore it because she'd be cynical and selfish from having no long-living companionship. Maybe adding more to the characters of the Espeon and Umbreon to be more caring to each other would help fix this issue. That way, she could see that not everyone abandons others, so she'd have the compassion to save the Magikarp.

Thanks for your suggestion, though it sort of crushed my hopes and dreams for this OC. This is only a well, rough draft. I'm not completely done with it, and the things you mentioned we're something I knew. I'm going to edit the Bio, and add a bit more detail, to everything.

Just 'cause a few issues have come up doesn't mean the whole OC's down the drain. Hell, I gave one of my OCs a complete re-working simply because someone pointed out that their core aspect was flawed. It was a Touhou OC, and their ability was to inflict phantom symptoms of any known disease... This was later changed to something as simple as being able to detect illness, and sorta become the Absol of the Touhou universe. Anywho, I'm trailing off! The point is, that these seemingly major speedbumps could possibly be easily fixed with a bit of effort.
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Re: Ari Rants About New OC

Post by Galom on Tue Dec 02, 2014 10:56 am

AxeBane wrote:Just 'cause a few issues have come up doesn't mean the whole OC's down the drain. Hell, I gave one of my OCs a complete re-working simply because someone pointed out that their core aspect was flawed. It was a Touhou OC, and their ability was to inflict phantom symptoms of any known disease... This was later changed to something as simple as being able to detect illness, and sorta become the Absol of the Touhou universe. Anywho, I'm trailing off! The point is, that these seemingly major speedbumps could possibly be easily fixed with a bit of effort.
No, I think that's exactly what Morfent was getting at. People are way too quick to slap on "special powers" to their OCs. Whenever I make an OC, I stay away from them. I always follow laws of physics, logic, and the Pokemon world. There's no need to "embellish" your OC with unnecessary flashy superpowers and dark edgy backstories. If you think they make the character seem original, that's simply not the case. It just makes them seem OP, idealized, and Mary Sue/Gary Stu-ish. Your "superpower" will just null every plot line ever, since you can just wish away any issue. It will make it hard for you to get a plot going, and make others not even want to RP with you since they know you're just going to try and solve the problem before they get a chance to RP it.

TL;DR: Giving your OCs special powers and a dark past is unnecessary, unoriginal, and only detracts from the character and your experience while RPing as them. I highly recommend you stay away from them.

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